Jeffrey Valluzzi has been bumming around for years playing in various Seattle bands in a tragic attempt to "make it big" in the music world. Having failed (thus far...), he turns to other, more exciting things, such as writing about his unrequited love with the industry that so carelessly turned him away.

And also taking care of his pet tortoise named Turtle.

Jeff's favorite concert moment was playing a show with BOAT. Yes, BOAT. It was magical.