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"Baby, Let's Rock!" by Zwan

Oh man, Zwan. What the hell.

Need I remind you, Mr. Corgan, that you're the man responsible for Melloncollie and the Infinite Sadness? Remember that album? Full of dark, sad, moody pre-emo rock songs, a band of freaks prancing around in black lace and top hats and all manner of melodramatic nonesense? Or what about Adore and Machina with your floor length black bishop robes and caked eyeliner? Did you forget all that?

What the hell is this! "I dream about you every night / and when I do you're holding me tight / I'd love somebody like you in my life"? Did someone slip you some Zoloft when you were in the potty? Look, I understand that you're probably not as dark and dramatic as your music suggests, but when you've built up a reputation for being a pale, skinny vampire with a gigantic bald head that shreds on the guitar and rattles windows with your barely human joy-buzzer of a voice, there are certain roads you really shouldn't travel as an artist. Namely the "let's all get in here for a big ol' hug" road; leave that for someone who makes their money dancing in a big foam animal costume. Do us a favor and get your old band back together, at least that Chamberlain guy, he was fuckin' far out on the drums, and start playing face-melting guitar tunes again. No more of this rainbos and happiness crap.

 

Oh, you already did that didn't you.

Well Zeitgeist was pretty ok I guess.

I hope you've learned your lesson, young man.

1

Erik Gonzalez said on March 21, 2008:

That being said, "Honestly" is a pretty solid pop song.

2

Justin Koeppen said on March 21, 2008:

I'll have to agree with you there, Erik. I mean, I do own the album so I must have seen some merit in it. This track has always just made me wince.

3

Shilo Urban said on March 23, 2008:

Effing hilarious! You are so right, I am a HUGE Smashing Pumpkins fan and I could barely even get through the Zwan album. I am not alone! Ha.

4

randy said on March 23, 2008:

Lyric and Honestly are the only two songs from this album on my iPod. A major disappointment overall, to be sure.

But why you're bothering to comment on a 2003 album in 2008 anyway?

rant/

And Zeitgeist is definitely NOT pretty ok; it's boring crap. Including the 4 different bonus tracks you get from each different music retailer. (And no, I didn't actually puay for any of it.) And the band-currently-touring-with-Billy-Corgan is the Smashing Pumpkins in name only.

/rant

5

Justin Koeppen said on March 24, 2008:

Well Randy, to answer your question: I'm "bothering" to comment on a 2003 album in 2008 because it's iPod Roulette; you spin the wheel and write about whatever song plays, that's the game.

Also, while Zeitgeist wasn't the comeback album we'd all dreamed of it could have been much worse. After all, it IS a comeback album 7 years after their last release with two original members and a completely different market. So yeah, of course it's going to kinda suck. Did anyone really expect it to be amazing?

6

randy said on March 25, 2008:

Ah, I see now. The link I clicked to, from Recent Comments on the blog page, goes straight to the article under the heading of 'Features', and says nothing about 'iPod Roulette'. A bit confusing if you don't go through the Features page first.

And obviously I'm not a fan of new bands trying to drive ticket and album sales by recycling names from long-gone glory days. It's a cynical ploy and no one has exemplified it better than Corgan. It's hardly a reunion if only half (or less) of the original band is involved. Most musicians who aren't shameless hustlers understand this, which is why they adopt new names for their new bands. Last night, I saw Carbon/Silicon at Chop Suey. It was a really great show, and it was awesome being so close to Mick Jones, who despite his age, still plays superbly and hasn't lost his edge. But I wouldn't have been there if his band were trying to call itself The Clash.

7

Imaginary Shrie said on March 25, 2008:

well aren't you a savvy indie rock patron. i think some people probably like the music for just that... the music. and not the name.

8

rk said on March 25, 2008:

Yeah you're absolutely right Shrie, indie rock fans never care about the context in which music is being made or marketed, and never should care about those things. Just keep your head in the sand and enjoy the music, right?

Oh, and here's a little tidbit from Stereogum, posted this morning. (Those of you who only care about the music, please feel free to disregard.)

According to the AP wire, "the Smashing Pumpkins are suing Virgin Records, saying the record label has illegally used their name and music in promotional deals [with Pepsi and Amazon.com] that hurt the band's credibility with fans." No, Billy, your shitty new songs hurt your credibility with fans. And your whining. And schilling smashed guitars.

9

randy said on March 25, 2008:

And from Idolator:

This lawsuit makes me wonder if I can sue the band for presenting a band under the Smashing Pumpkins name that barely resembles the band I used to enjoy, so I might be calling Jacoby & Meyers later.

10

Imaginary Shrie said on March 25, 2008:

Hahaha... I don't even like Zwan. And I actually do pay attention to how music is being made and marketed.

I just think sometimes as consumers, specifically indie rock consumers, we think we know the right way to do everything. And really, it is about the music. So, while I'm sure Billy will burn in hell for suckling money out of unknowing teenage boys across America, if I liked Zwan (or whatever conglomeration of the Pumpkins that apply) I would buy the record.

I actually totally agree with you on your stance. Sometimes I'm just beat down with indie rock elitism and feel the need to stir up some trouble on the boards. Some spark in my day perhaps? Everyone needs a little distraction from the grind.

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